Monday, July 25, 2011

Come the heck on, George! A Review of A Dance with Dragons: A Song of Ice and Fire: Book Five by George R.R. Martin

NOTE: I will keep this short and sweet, as the author in question is not gay (to my knowledge), nor is he a woman, so he most certainly is not a lesbian, nor is this a lesbian book. I apologize in advance to any of you lovely ladies who are disappointed by his inclusion on our special space. But, in my defense, there's some lesbo action earlier in the series, so...okay?

Background: I was reading the Game of Thrones series BEFORE it came out on HBO.

I LOVED THEM. These are some looooong books, and I read all four pretty much back-to-back, with some pauses in between for fab lezzie lit. And then I joined the many, many, many readers who were waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the long promised fifth book. Finally, on July 12th, A Dance with Dragons: A Song of Ice and Fire: Book Five by George R.R. Martin was released. I had it on my Kindle first thing in the AM, and started reading that night. I finished the 1,040th page Saturday night.

George, George, George. What happened, dude? This is...this is not good. It's just not. What happened to all of the awesome, powerful women? What happened to ANY of the plot lines you set up in this and the other novels? I mean, some people die, but NOTHING ELSE IS RESOLVED. Nothing! Now, I'll probably read the next one if there is a next one, just in hopes that maybe something will actually happen. But I won't be excited about it. And I'll probably wait for some other poor sap to put a review out first just to make sure I'm not going to want to throw the book across the room when I finish it (throwing books across the room, although a time-honored tradition, is not a good thing when you do the majority of your reading on a Kindle).

Plus, no lezzie action in this book. Sad for me.

Note to series authors of the future: If you're tired of your characters and their battles, just tell us that and move on. Don't give us something like this. Just don't. Ugh.

Thanks for letting me vent, dear readers! Later this week, Part Two of the Lesbian Summer Reading List!

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