Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Sweet Valley Confidential: SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS - click away if you don't want SPOILERS

Also, click away if you didn't read the Sweet Valley books as a youth, because really, this book is only worth reading if you can get the nostalgia going strong.

Yes, yes I know this is not a gay book. Nor is it a lesbian book. There is not a lesbian to be found in the entire damn thing, and it wasn't even written by a lesbian. So we'll keep this short and sweet.

But! How utterly, horribly disappointed were you to find out which character was gay? Every since the blind item slithered its way onto the internets that dear Francine Pascal was going to out one of our Sweet Valley friends, I had one wish, and one wish only.

Let it be Lila. Please, please, let it be Lila, with her long dark hair and crazy bitchy attitude. I was thinking Power Lesbian Lila. Bette Porter Lila. Suits! Vests! The new "it girl" in the lesbians-control-the-world scene. And Elizabeth would walk in on Lila topping some young thing in stilettos. I would have been equally thrilled to have Lila show up to a party with a fabulous butch on her arm - delish.

But no. (Spoiler alert) It was Steve. STEVE. Steve? I'll be honest, I barely even remember Steve from the original series. Was he even in Sweet Valley University? And so now he's gay. Which, yanno, good for him, but no one cares. Really, even in the book it's a throw-away plotline, obviously inserted just to add a little buzz and make us all think that Lila might be gay.

If you read the SV books when you were young, read Sweet Valley Confidential - it's a quick easy trashy read, best enjoyed with a cocktail or glass of wine in hand, and enough fun to be worth it. It also makes for great party talk among a certain generation. ("Can you believe what Jessica did??? What a bitch? And Todd! Don't even get me started on Todd! And why was Lila not gay?")

*Yes, that photo up above is of my hard copy of Sweet Valley Confidential. Which I purchased. I own a hard copy Sweet Valley book at the age of...well, not twelve.

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